There are a couple of less known national days coming up this week: Parent’s Day and Tall Girl Appreciation Day. I’ve decided to celebrate both, but I’ll just discuss Parent’s Day here. Parent’s Day is celebrated on the fourth Sunday of July and was officially made a national day during President Clinton’s presidency. From what I’ve read, Parent’s Day was meant to be a combination of Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. I’m sure thankful for all those who parent my husband and me: our moms and dads, and also all the mentors who have parented me. I’m thankful to experience parenting four great kids.
Some of the best opportunities for me to teach my children come through everyday experiences.
Parenting Lessons Learned at the Grocery Store
Fidget spinners are the newest toy around our home. After my oldest son bought one, all of the other kids wanted to have one. Even after they had one, they wanted another one each time we saw them for sale. I didn’t want them to buy fidget spinners because my kids get distracted from what they are doing when they play with fidget spinners, but I let my two youngest children bring their money and buy one. This is one of the many purchases my kids have made, which I don’t agree with, but that’s okay. I want them to get to learn from the shopping experience, and they can only do that if they are allowed to spend some money in a way that they want to spend it.
I admit that I don’t always take my kids shopping. It can be an exhausting, embarrassing, and a time consuming task. It always takes longer, and I always spend more money that I otherwise would, but children can learn so many lessons through everyday shopping. Here are a few:
As long as we have a patient cashier, we get a chance to learn math skills. The cashier at Smith's Marketplace was great. He told my children how much they owed for their fidget spinners. Each spinner cost $6.50. Then, I helped my son and my daughter count $7. I asked them if $7 was more than $6.50. I explained that the cashier owed them some change. It made me realize how many math skills are involved in purchasing, which is why I try to allow them to do this quite regularly, even though it can be an exhausting experience.
Responsibility and Economic Skills
Kids are exposed to so many economic concepts by earning and spending money. Even though my kids bought fidget spinners, they saw plenty of other things that they wanted to buy. I explained that since they chose to buy fidget spinners with their money, they didn’t have any money left to buy the other things.
On another shopping trip, my daughter spent her money on treats. I asked her if she was sure, and she said, “Yes.” But at the last store, she got upset because she didn’t have enough money left to purchase a tiara that she saw. I explained that she didn't have enough money because she had already spent it on other things. She responded, “But I didn’t know that there was going to be a tiara, and I really want it.” I taught her about “opportunity cost” by saying, “If you spend your money on candy, you don’t have money for tiaras." (By the way, junk food is another example of an item that is difficult for me to allow them to buy. Kids already eat so much of it, but I want them to get to make choices, so I allow them to buy junk food with their money instead of mine.)
Patience and Delayed Gratification
My five-year-old daughter often wants me to pay for items that she wants, so she begs me to transfer money from her bank account. I refuse, and I tell her that she needs to get her money and spend it. She always forgets about the item that she wanted to buy because she didn’t even want it until she saw it.
Kids aren’t the only ones who learn patience. Tantrums usually follow this reply, so as the mom, I get a dose of patience too.
As my children paid for their fidget spinners, they gained confidence. They proudly paid for their own toy and told the cashier about it. It’s exciting to watch them learn this skill. Sometimes they hesitate and look to me, and I encourage them to do it. Although it took more time that it would have taken for me to buy everything, the experience of watching them grow was worth it.
I am thankful for my parents. My dad gave me opportunities to work. He had a variety of jobs, and one of them was to fix up houses and sell them. I remember helping him clean up those houses.
My mom often took me shopping and allowed me to learn. My mom is a bargain shopping queen, and she can find amazing deals. One day while shopping at an outlet, we found some jeans for sale for five dollars! The only problem was that we couldn’t try them on, but I couldn’t pass up a good deal. When I got home, none of them fit quite right. By shopping with her, I learned to find these deals, and I also learned that it’s only a deal if it’s something I really like.
I’m thankful to grandparents who gave me the chance to learn self-reliance through using money. My grandparents have always been super frugal. They lived through World War I and learned not to waste anything, but they gave us generous birthday and Christmas gifts. I teased them at the time that the only unfrugal ways that they spent their money was to give it to us grandkids, but now I realize that spending is an important skill to teach our children. Through it, we learn so many life lessons.
What lessons did your parents teach while you were shopping?